


Weight of the World

by sscaptainswan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Dark One Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Dark One Emma Swan, F/M, Song fic, im sorry lol, really sad actually, this is honestly kinda sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:47:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9107206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sscaptainswan/pseuds/sscaptainswan
Summary: Another cs song fic, this one based off the song Weight of the World by Evanescence. Thought it would fit well with both of them being dark ones. This will also be posted on Wattpad.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So like stated in the summary, this is another song fic. You don't need to know the song for it to make sense though because I will put the lyrics before the part. Lowkey almost made myself cry while writing this bc imagining my babies in pain like this hurts.

 

* * *

 

_Feels like the weight of the world, like God in heaven gave me a turn._

Killian wanted nothing to do with this. He didn't want to be a bloody Dark One. It's like someone decided to give him a turn to hold the weight of the world on his shoulders, or in this case, the weight of knowing everything that the Dark Ones had done, with the exception of Emma, of course. It was all tempting him, telling him to go back to seeking his revenge on Rumplestiltskin. And he was weak. Hook had been powerless before, but now, now he had the power Rumple once had. Now _he_ was powerless and Hook was the one with all the power. And he planned to use it.

 _Don't cling to me, I swear I can't fix you, still in the dark, can you fix me?_  

Emma came to him again. They had only seen each other very briefly since Hook became a Dark One. It hurt both of them, but Killian was more hurt by the fact that she made him become the one thing he had spent centuries trying to kill, than anything else.  
"What do you want, Swan." Killian's voice was cold and emotionless. Before Emma even had the chance to speak though, Hook did again. "And don't even try to come to me with the expectation that you can fix me or I can fix you. It's over. I don't love you. _I don't think I ever did._ " As soon as the words left his mouth, he was shocked, as was she. Hook knew it was the darkness talking, Emma hoped as much, but she wasn't certain so with a puff of smoke, she was gone. Emma hadn't even gotten one word out! Killian tugged at his hair in frustration. That was most certainly a lie, and now their relationship, whatever was even left it, would probably be pushed back five steps. "Swan!" He called out, hoping she would reappear. She didn't.

_Free fall, free fall, all through life._

Emma felt numb. She had ever since she gave into the darkness. Though now, now it was worse. She had just lost the one person who she believed she could still go to. Hook pushed her away, told her he didn't love her. He claims he doesn't think he ever did. Whether that's true or not, it hurt Emma, a lot. She's lost so many people in her life, two to death, one to becoming a fucking flying monkey, and now one to the darkness. It was her fault, she knew that, he begged her not to change him, but then she would've lost another to death. Emma doesn't know which would've hurt more now. She felt as if she was free falling into a dark, dark hole that never seemed to end. Anything she tried to do just made her fall faster. She didn't know what else to do anymore. She wanted to stop falling, wanted to rid herself and Killian of the darkness and that's what she was determined to do.

_If you love me, then let go of me. I won't be held down by who I used to be. She's nothing to me._

Someone knocked on her door. Emma was beyond confused. No one had visited her, willingly, in a long time. Or what felt like a long time. She honestly was not in the mood for visitors, but when she opened the door to reveal her mother, she couldn't help the barely there smile that formed. "Emma." Her mother breathed, seeming relieved and also surprised that she opened the door. "Come in." Was all Emma said as she walked into her kitchen, taking a seat at the table. Hesitantly, Snow walked in as well and joined Emma. Behind her, the door swung shut with a wave of Emma's hand.  
"Emma, please let us help you."  
The sentence caused Emma to let out an exasperated sigh and roll her eyes. "I can do this on my own. I know what I'm doing. You don't. How could you possibly help me when you haven't got any idea as to what I'm doing?" Emma's voice sounded both like her own and also not. It was eerily smooth and lowered. She seemed calm, too calm and it made Snow slightly uncomfortable, it seemed as though Emma could snap at any moment. "Emma, we love you. We just-"  
"Let me go. If you love me so damn much let me go and leave me be. This will all be over soon anyways." With that being said, Emma poofed her mom out of her house with a wave of her hand. Snow was now on the outside of her house but she wasn't finished talking yet. "Emma this isn't you! Let us bring the Emma we know back, let-"  
Suddenly, the door flew open and a furious looking Emma stood in the doorway. "This is me! This is who I am now! The woman I was is no longer here. I will not be held down by who I was, always trying to save people! _That girl is nothing to me._ " Her eyes were wide and she had her fists balled as she spoke. Stunned by Emma's outburst, Snow walked away from her daughter, no, The Dark One, with tears forming.

_Feels like the weight of the world, like all my screaming has gone unheard._

Hook wanted them to stop. All the voices in his head, constantly screaming at him to give into the darkness. A few times, Killian himself screamed at the voices in his head to stop. No one heard him. Not Emma, not Snow, not anyone. He was _far_ from any civilization, well as far as he could be with not being able to cross the boarder. He had secluded himself in the forest, not wanting any more temptation to harm anyone. Seeing Rumple, it would be too easy to just snap his neck.

 _"No Killian. You should punish him worse than that. Take his hand for your own, his heart for Milah's, and his head for turning Emma into the dark one."_ It came like a whisper in his ear. Killian grabbed this sides of his head and suck to his knees as that idea was repeated over and over in his mind by the past dark ones. _"Take his heart."_  
_"Take his hand."_  
**_"End him."_**

"STOP!" He finally shouted, his head spinning from everything going on inside it. "Please just stop." His voice sounded broken, like he was utterly defeated. Hook wished there was someone there, even though it was his fault that the one person he wanted there, whether he would admit it was her or not, wasn't. 

_And oh, I know you don't believe in me, safe in the dark, how can you see?_

The next time Emma was visited it was Hook. To say Emma was surprised was a huge understatement. She quickly masked any emotions she was feeling with a harsh looking, but very unstable wall of anger. "What are you doing here?" Emma asked coldly. Killian was not surprised by her cold tone in the slightest, given what he said to her. They hadn't spoken since and it had been a little over a week. "I have gotten word you are trying to get rid of the darkness inside of us." At his smooth spoken words, Emma furrowed her eyebrows. "How the hell did you know that? I haven't told anyone what I'm doing." Emma her kept voice calm, careful not to let it waver. She was still hurting, of course she was, but she would  _not_ let Hook know as much. "I have my ways,  _dearie_ , and they are my own.  But I have come to tell you that you will not succeed." As he spoke, he moved in closer to Emma. She wondered if it was too late to try the true love's kiss thing. She deemed it was. "I know you don't believe in me, Killian, but I _will_ succeed." The woman snapped, stepping forward slightly as she grew angrier. "You didn't come here just to tell me that.  _Why are you really here?_ " As she asked the question, her green eyes narrowed at him. She struggled to keep her wall up when looking him in the eyes. He looked like he was in pain, pain that she caused by turning him into this. "Why I came here to see you of course." Hook answered simply. Emma kept her eyes narrowed at him as he backed up. "I mean, I do still have feelings for you, Swan." There was no hiding the surprise on Emma's face when he said that. "You do?" She cursed at herself for sounding so vulnerable, he had such a grip on her heart and it was now so, so evident. "Aye." His voice was soft and he looked genuine. Emma took a step closer but stopped when he continued speaking. "Hatred, disgust, anger, distrust." His words were like daggers, each one burying deeper into her heart. "Get out." Emma mumbled, pointing to the door. When Emma glanced at him though, he looked even more pained than before. She wondered if that was even him speaking. Either way, he had hurt her yet again and Emma was not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her hurting. So when he did not leave, with a wave of her hand and a poof of smoke, she was gone, out of her own house, and now in the middle of the forest in the darkness of the night.

_Free fall, free fall, all through life._

Now Killian felt numb. He was more than confident that there was no way Emma would willingly let him back into her life. He told her he hated her for fuck's sake. She had looked so hurt, he could see  it through her "tough guy" exterior like it was not even there. It was like Killian couldn't control what he was saying, he so easily gave back into the darkness and all Emma wanted to do was help him. He only pushed her away, told her he didn't love, didn't trust her, that he hated her. It would be a true miracle if she ever forgave him. But every time he has gone to see her, it seemed like he would just cause more damage. It seemed like no matter what he has tried to do, he would just fall deeper into darkness, and he desperately wanted out, even if he was too weak to admit that to himself. 

_If you love me, then let go of me. I won't be held down by who I used to be._

This time Emma visited him. This time it was Hook's turn to be shocked, but he hid that well with a sneer her way and a glare. "I know you what you said was not you." She had finally said after a few moments of silence. "I love you. And I know that somewhere, maybe deep down, you still love me too." The way she spoke, it sounded as if she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was attempting to convince Killian. In response to her words, Killian  _wanted_ to tell her that she was right, that he still loved her with all his being but he was being pulled farther and farther into the darkness. "Then let go." Is what he ended up replying with. Emma, confused, cocked her head to the side, furrowed her eyebrows, and pursed her lips. "What?" 

"If you love me, then let go of me. I am not going to be held down by who I used to be. The pirate that loved you is gone, he is buried deep, deep down and he can't get out because he is weak." Killian spat, causing Emma to flinch back slightly. She felt sick. This is what she said to her mother, in slightly different words, but still the same. Hanging her head, she whispered a broken, but incredibly sincere, "I'm so sorry Killian." before she vanished in a puff of smoke. 


End file.
